CHARLIE 'BAFTA' THURSTON
Height: a slim seven or so, a skyscraper of a 'man'
Enjoys: chess and milk.
Achievements: bafta winner and heart attack survivor.
ARCHIE 'POET' CAPON
Height: A pint.
Enjoys: Tickling the mole on his neck
Achievements: was in Australian equivalent of the West End's 'Chitty Chitty Bang
Abilities: suggestive without being crude.
KIT ' NOBBLER' REDDING
Mr Nobbler, named aptly after his nobbly knees.
Height: twenty seven knee caps
Enjoys: well crafted pyramid schemes
Achievements: starred in Season 2 Episode 9 of Netflix's 'The Crown'. Co-directed and starred in Jez Butterworth's 'Mojo' in Durham, of which following a killer review, Butterworth himself took note and sent funding for the afterparty.
Catchphrase: "I'll nobble you up you feisty devil."
MARCUS 'DOINKUS' JUDD
Height: just right
Enjoys: electric fly swatters and damp clothing hems.
Achievements: this piggy has performed as the lead in multiple highly respected and reviewed performances in St Andrews, Scotland. He will be making his Edinburgh Fringe debut in 2022. He will also be releasing some original music soon...
Catchphrase: "that's a lotta protein"